I will be cheater to them both

Shakespeare
Afrikaans
Contemporary English

Briefly, I do mean to make love to Ford’s wife:
Ek gaan met Ford se vrou vry:
I’m going to canoodle with Ford’s wife:

I spy entertainment in her.
Ek bespeur pret en plesier in haar.
I detect fun and pleasure in her.

She discourses; she carves;
Sy gesels, sy lag, sy beduie;
She chats, she laughs, she gestures;

She gives the leer of invitation.
Sy’s nie verniet so familiar met my nie.
It’s not for nothing that she’s so familiar with me.

I can construe the action of her familiar style;
Ek kan hard en duidelik hoor wat sy besig is om vir my te sê
I can hear what she’s saying to me, loud and clear,

And the hardest voice of her behaviour, to be Englished rightly,
Met haar aansittery en haar behaviour, in plat Afrikaans:
With her affectations and her behaviour, in plain Afrikaans:

Is ‘I am Sir John Falstaff’s.’
‘Ek’s available vir Sir John Falstaff.’
‘I am available for Sir John Falstaff.’

Now, the report goes,
Die mense sê:
People say:

She has all the rule of her husband’s purse.
Sy is in charge van haar man se geldsake.
She’s in charge of her husband’s financial affairs.

He hath a legion of angels.
Credit cards. Bankrekeninge. Millions.
Credit cards. Bank accounts. Millions.

I have writ me here a letter to her;
Ek het gou-gou hier vir haar ’n WhatsApp geskryf;
I’ve quickly written a WhatsApp to her here;

And here another to Page’s wife
En nog een, aan Page se vrou,
And here, another one, to Page’s wife,

Who even now gave me good eyes too,
Wat nou net hierso verby haar oë oor my lyf laat gly het,
Who just now, passing here, let her eyes slip over my body,

Examined my parts with most judicious oeillades.
Een stoute belangstellende ogie, een wellustige ogie;
One naughty interested little eye, one lustful little eye;

Sometimes the beam of her view gilded my foot,
Op en af, op en af, van kop tot toon
Up and down, up and down, from head to toe

Sometimes my portly belly.
Het sy my bekyk, boepens en al.
Did she examine me, pot-belly included.

O, she did so course o’er my exteriors with such a greedy intention,
Amper asof sy my met ’n magnifying glass wil bekyk, tot dit begin voel
Almost as if she wanted to examine me with a magnifying glass until it started feeling,

That the appetite of her eye did seem to scorch me up like a burning-glass!
Of haar kykery my gaan brand soos die skerp gefokusde strale van die son!
As if her gaze was going to scorch me like the sharply focused rays of the sun!

Here’s another letter to her:
Hier’s die ander WhatsApp na háár toe:
Here’s the other WhatsApp to her:

She bears the purse too;
En – how’s this? – hy is ook nie exactly short van geld nie, en sy’s ook in charge;
And – how’s this? – he is also not exactly short on money, and she’s also in charge;

She is a region in Guiana, all gold and bounty.
BEE millions, Constantia mansion, Clifton bungalow, trust funds galore.
BEE millions, Constantia mansion, Clifton bungalow, trust funds galore.

I will be cheater to them both,
Ek gaan altwee van hulle lekker verneuk;
I’m going to cheat both of them;

And they shall be exchequers to me;
Ek gaan my eie BEE deals doen op hierdie twee dames.
I will do my own BEE deals on these two ladies.

They shall be my East and West Indies,
Dis tyd vir ’n bietjie FEE –
It’s time for some FEE –

And I will trade to them both.
Falstaff Economic Empowerment.
Falstaff Economic Empowerment.

Go bear thou this letter to Mistress Page;
Kom, WhatsApps, laat julle gaan,
Come WhatsApps, off you go,

And thou this to Mistress Ford:
Laat julle gaan.
Off you go.

We will thrive, lads, we will thrive.
Hier gaan dit nog lekker word.
Things are still going to turn out great here.